Satisfaction

Satisfaction.

I can't really define my satisfaction in life.

No, I'm not. 

I don't hate my life, but I don't like it also. I mean, even though I hate my life, what can I do?

It is funny I can't have a definite satisfaction. I usually change. 

Some say that humans don't have satisfaction. 

Well I don't think so. Maybe it is just that we cannot define our satisfaction. 

Sometimes I think, I am already satisfied having what I have. Sometimes I dream higher; there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I dream that someday, most of the people will respect and accept me. Also, I dream that someday, I'll be able to be famous, billionaire, serve as an inspiration, etc.

However, sometimes, I am thinking that I may not be still happy with that. Maybe I can be happy with something small. Something I am not expecting. Something so small that I can't see it now because all I dream about is the big thing. I think that maybe those big things won't have an effect on me. 

But who knows? 

Why would I care about my satisfaction? 

Why can't I just continue living? 

Why can't I just care about living and not about death? 

Maybe I am just too curious.
Now I have decided, I won't care about my satisfaction, I just want to live my life till I say that " I AM SATISFIED" 

Maybe satisfaction cannot be predicted. You have to feel it first. Maybe you won't even know that you are satisfied already. 

I just realize that I don't have that much of experience. 

But a part of me is telling myself that I still don't have that something. I can't define that something, but maybe that thing is something I can be really proud of, something I can live with forever, something that I've been looking for.

How long can I keep this blog updated? I wish I can share to you that something I'm looking for.