O Ilaw

Hi. Here is my interpretation of a Filipino serenade song, "O Ilaw". Listen to the song first ;) . 

"O, ilaw, sa gabing malamig" 

At nagsimulang punuin ng binatang si Ricky ng kanyang magandang tinig at marahan na gitara ang buong eskinita ng phase 6. Mapusok si Ricky at mataas ang reputasyon sa phase 6. Sakbit niya ang lumang gitara, sinamahan pa ng rosas na namumula sa tingkad.  Lahat ay nakikinig sa kanyang saliw na kaniyang inialay kay Lela. 

"Wangis mo'y bituin sa langit."

Nakalipas na ang pasko pero nakasabit pa rin ang mga nagniningning na parol sa mga bintana. Hanay-hanay ang mga kumukutitap na parol at krismas dekor sa buong phase 6.  Lubos na maantig ang puso ng sinumang mapadaan sa phase 6 dahil sa saliw at liwanag na dumadaloy sa paligid nito. 

"O, tanglaw, sa gabing tahimik"

   

Ngunit, natatangi ang bahay ni Lela sapagkat sarado pa ang mga krismas layts nito. Sarado ang mga bintana, nakasarado pati ang gate. Tila natutulog pa ang buong bahay at tanging tunog lamang sa TV ang maririnig mula sa labas. 

 "Larawan mo, Lela"

At mas lalong sumidhi ang boses ni Ricky. Kanyang naalala ang dampi ng mga buhok ni Lela sa paghawi niya sa mga ito. Sa kaniyang isip ay naririnig niya ang boses nito na sadyang walang katulad. Ito'y tinig na hindi-hinding makakalimutan na sumasama pa sa isipan kahit sa pagtulog. 

"nagbigay pasakit. Ay!"

Hindi pa rin nagpaparamdam ang dalaga sa binatang umaawit ng kaniyang pagibig. Tila natutulog ang buong bahay sa gitna ng buhay na buhay na eskinita ng phase 6. Si Osang, ang kapatid na kasakasama ni Lela sa bahay, ay umuwi na mula sa pamimili ng grocery para pang media noche kinabukasan. Napansin niya ang binatang laging bumibisita sa bahay, ngunit mas nakapukaw pansin sa kanya ang hindi pagkibo ni Lela sa mga saliw ni Ricky. 

"Gising at magbangon"

Sinusian na ni Osang ang gate at siya'y pumasok. Nagtataka siya kung bakit hindi pa rin binubuksan ni Lela ang mga krismas layts. Sigurado si Osang na hindi tinatakasan ni Lela si Ricky dahil kung siguradong narinig niya ang mga kalabit ni Ricky sa gitara, siguradong mapapasayaw na ang puso nito. Inakyat ni Osang ang kwarto ni Lela at ito'y kaniyang kinatok. 

"sa pagkagupiling" 

Rinig na rinig ni Osang ang mapusok na awitin ng binata mula sa loob ng bahay. Patay ang ilaw ngunit naiwang bukas ang TV. 

"Sa pagkakatulog"

Sinubukang akyatin ni Osang si Lela dahil baka sa may problema ito. Kumatok siya ng maraming beses ngunit walang sumasagot mula sa loob. 

Mas pinaigting pa ni Ricky ang kaniyang pag-gigitara. Lumakas ang kaniyang boses sa pagdama niya sa kanta. Narinig ng buong kapitbahay ang nakakaaliw na saliw ni Ricky para sa dalaga. Maraming nanunood at nagsisipalakpakan. 

"na lubhang mahimbing."

Hindi pa rin nagbubukas ng pinto si Lela. "Lela! Si Osang ito! May problema ba? Pagbuksan mo na ako, nag-away ba kayo ni Ricky?", palambing na sinabi ni Osang kay Lela sa tapat ng silid nito. "Lela makikinig ako." 

"Buksan ang bintana, at ako'y dungawin " 

Hindi matinag ang titig ni Ricky sa bintana ng kwarto ni Lela. Nais niyang masilayan ang kagandahan ni Lela sa gabing iyon. 

" Nang mapagtanto mo a"

Mas lalong lumakas ang katok ni Osang. Natataranta siya. "Lela! Lela! Si Osang ito!", ngunit wala pa ring kibo si Lela. Naalala ni Osang na may duplicate pala siya ng susi ng kwarto ni Lela. Binuksan niya ito. 

"ng tunay kong pagdaing."

Kinahinaan ng loob si Ricky. Tila ay ayaw pansinin ni Lela ang kaniyang awitin. Inulit muli ng binata ang kaniyang awitin.

"Gising at magbangon 

sa pagkagupiling "

At may namataang anino sa mga bintana ni Lela. Lumakas ulit ang loob ng binata. Lumakas ang palakpakan at hiyawang ng mga kapitbahay. 

"Sa pagkakatulog"

Binuksan ni Osang ang bintana ng kwarto. "Tulong! Tumawag kayong ambulansya!" 

"na lubhang mahimbing." 

Mula sa labas ay dumungaw ang katawan ni Lela na nakasabit sa lubid sa leeg. Napatigil ang palakpakan at hiyawan ng tao. Napatigil ang pag-awit ni Ricky. Biglang nawala ang liwanag at saliw na dumaloy sa phase 6.

Dinala si Lela sa ospital ngunit bago pa man siya matagpuan ay hindi na ito humihinga. Huli na ang lahat. Gumuho ang mundo ni Ricky. 

Makailang linggo pagkatapos ng kaniyang pagkamatay ay natagpuan ni Osang ang isang liham ni Lela pa kay Ricky. Iniabot ito ni Osang kay Ricky. Binasa ni Ricky ang liham. 

"Buksan ang bintana

at ako'y dungawin

Nang mapagtanto mo 

ang tunay kong pagdaing."

    

 wakas

   

The Light Man

The darkening dusk of the sky
Fell upon the wide black desert
Minutes;seconds starts to go by
And the day and night shall divert.

Hither the light in the dark shone
Under the pale grey and calm moon
Lit by star lights was the hotel
Inside, a light man hither dwell.

His duty was to light the lamps
As soon as the darkness embraced
He knocks at every door room camps
For the candle fire shall be placed

"Knock, Knock, Knock, this is the light man
I'll provide thee light ere darkness
Open the door to my demand
For my torch will cast the brightness"

Ravine is the hallway's far length
There he stands waiting for response,
"Knock, Knock, Knock, this is the light man
I'll provide thee light ere darkness"

At length, the tall door was ajar
Pure blackness engulf the figure
And so it spoke for it to par
"No need, hence leave me in closure"

"But mister, you need light to see
Whereas in darkness you are blind
Please let me provide you with this
If you refuse, I wouldn't mind"

But the figure spoke,"Thanks, I'm good
But I rather choose not to have the sight
For I tremble when I see new
In light there's truth, in truth there's fright."

The tall brown door was shut in haste
And so the light man took his leave
He then walked yonder other place
Under the skies of the night's eve

"Knock, Knock, Knock, this is the light man
I'll provide thee light ere darkness
Open the door to my demand
For my torch will cast the brightness"

At length, the tall door was ajar
Pure blackness engulf the figure
And so it spoke for it to par
"No need, hence leave me in closure"

"But sire, in light there's clarity
Where you can find thy happiness
Thus you can find prosperity
Only in light, not in darkness."

"What a silly old man you are
I find your propositions wrong
For in darkness, there is pleasure
If you desire it, come along"

So the old stood as cold as stone
Never did he desire pleasures
Inside the room there came loud moans
He then took his own departure.

Alas, the night was deepening
And no one seeks the light of him
His torch fails and was weakening
While his face was weary and grim

At last he came upon a door
Taller and better than before
His hopes are high a smile he wore
"Someone who won't ignore!"

"Knock, Knock, Knock, this is the light man
I'll provide thee light ere darkness
Open the door to my demand
For my torch will cast the brightness"

At length, the tall door was ajar
Pure blackness engulf the sooth
And so it spoke for it to par
"Come, light the lamp and know the truth"

At last, the light man lit a fire
And thus the somber has begone
"Oh! What a beauty to admire!
It has been long since it was dawn!

Hindi ba't nakapagtataka
Na kahit pasko'y umuulan
at kahit pebrero'y may umiiyak?

Hindi ba't nakapagtataka
Na kahit ang bundok ay nahahati
at kahit ang mga ilog ay natutuyo?

Hindi ba't nakapagtataka
Na kahit ang araw ay lumulubog
at kahit ang buwan ay nagtatago?

Hindi ba't nakapagtataka
Na kahit ang may mga mata
Ay lagi pa ring nabubulag?

Hindi ba't nakapagtataka
Na kahit na ang mayaman
Ay lagi pa ring nakukulangan ?

Hindi ba't nakapagtataka
Na kahit ang lubos na sugatan
Ay pilit pa ring nagmamahal?

Ngunit hindi ba't mas nakapagtataka
Na kahit gaano mo ako sinaktan
Ay eto pa rin ako, ikaw pa rin ang laman?

-

Hilt and Hate

A rake and bait 

Is here to taint 

inflict the pain

Break the chains

Of this hellish pain 

Unleash the strain

My wrath will reign

With this I'll break

The taunting snake

With all my ache

For you'll repay

I beset my eyes

;Burning in flames

As it devour your name

with my taunting game

For if this Hilt and Hate

Is to be initiated

Then mind your fate

Cause you'll be devastated.

Let these words forever stay 

Even when I am far away

As it is meant to slay the prey

For this is the curse of my Hilt and Hate. 

Palapit na Naman ang Pasko

May nabasa lang smwhr.

__________________

Palapit na naman ang pasko
at krismas tri, kanilang tinatayo
Kay laki at kay ganda.
Kay tangkad at kay saya.

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Oras na ng bigayan ng regalo
Na s'yang kinasisiyahan ng mga tao
Na kinagigiliwan ng mga puso.

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Nagkakabit na sila ng mga pako
Na kanilang sasabitan ng mga ilaw
Na magniningning sa panglaw

Palapit na naman ang pasko
ng mga bituin, ang alapaap ay mapupuno
Ang mga lansangan ay magliliwanag
Ang mga tao ay magsasayawan

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Dadalas ang pagisip ko sa'yo
Dahil ang mga anghel ay magkakantahan
Sa iyong angking kagandahan.

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Dadalas ang pagisip ko sa'yo
Dahil magliliwanag ang mga bituin sa langit
Na nagpapaalala sa iyong mga ngiti

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At ang mga tao'y nagawa ng pangako
gaya ng aking binitiwan sa'yo
Noong nakaraang taon

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At sumasaya na ang mga tao
Gaya nalang ng naramdaman ko
Noong nakamit ko ang iyong oo.

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Pinaganda na ang mga regalo
Gaya nalang ng tinuri nating tayo
Maingat nating binubuo

Palapit na naman ang pasko
at aking maaalala ang ating pagtatalo
Na aking sinukuan para sa'yo
Wag ka lang saakin lumayo

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At ang taon ay magbabago
Gaya nalang ng pagtingin mo
Habang ako'y nagsusumamo

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At aalis na ang taon
Gaya nalang ng iyong pagtalikod
Na ngayo'y tayo'y nagkalayo

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At ang mga ilaw ng bituin ay magningning
Na s'ya rin namang mapupundi
Gaya nalang ng tinuri kong atin

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At ang mga balot ng regalo ay pupunitin
Sabay itatapon
Gaya nalang ng tinuri kong tayo

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Magbabasagan na ng alkansya
Gaya nalang ng ating pagsasama
Watak watak at di na maibabalik pa.

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Ang ang hanging amihan ay magpapaulan
gaya nalang ng mga luha
Na tumutulo sa aking mukha

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At kakain sila ng hamonado
Ngunit ako'y wala nang makuha
Dahil ibinigay ko na lahat sa'yo

Palapit na naman ang pasko
at ang gabi ay mas dadalas pa
Gaya nalang nitong kalungkutan
Na saakin ay iyong ipinako

Palapit na naman ang pasko
At ang mga pamilya ay magsasama-sama
Hindi gaya natin
Na nagkalimutan na.

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Kasama ng ating nasirang pangako
Kasabay ng gumuho nating pangarap
Na binuo nating magkasama.

Palapit na naman ang pasko
Palapit na naman....
--
Tama na. Ayoko na.
Tapusin na natin 'to.

    - anonymous

Practice lang

Ehehehe warning: medyo kadiri s'ya.

Hey. If you read this screenplay, mejo wala kang magegets kung anong purpose. I tried to not say it directly in your faces. Kayo na lang humusga.



Silid Dasalan

Binanlian ng mga liwanag ng araw ang isang kwarto na barong baro. Katamtaman lang ang kalawakan nito. Walang gaanong kagamitan sa loob ng kwarto, tanging kahoy lang na inaanay na sa luma. Sa bawat kanto ay makikita ang mga agiw. Pinepeste ang ito ng ipis, butiki, at mga insektong hindi makilala.

Bigla-biglang may matandang lalaking namamayat at dugyot na dugyot na gumawa ng ingay sa loob ng kwarto.

Lalaki (Nerbyos na Nerbyos)

Panginoon lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa araw na iyong binigay saakin. Sya nawa na mapagsilbihan ko pa kayo. 

Humalik ang matandang lalaki sa isang alikabuking imahe ng buddha. Gawa ang buddha sa kahoy na masusing inukit upang mapakita ang mga detalye. Ang buddha ay nakangiti at gaya ng ibang buddha, ito'y mataba at sagana sa mga kayamanan. Nabudburan din ito ng alikabok na dulot na rin ng madungis na kwarto.  

Tumayo ang lalaki at naginat. Marumihin ang damit nya. Butas butas at tila hindi nalabahan ng isang linggo. Dali-dali syang lumapit sa buddha. Kinuha nya ang kaniyang damit at kinuskos sa buddha. Napakaalikabok ng buddha na nangitim ang damit na kanyang pinangpunas. Nilawayan ng matanda ang kanyang palad upang pakintabin ang malaking tiyan at ang makinis na ulo nito. Kuminis ang buddha ngunit nanglumahid sa dumi ang matanda.    

Lalaki

Para po sainyo. Nawa'y patuloy pa ang grasya sa pagdating. 

  Makikita na nagiisa lang ang lalaki sa kwarto. Tila ba'y wala syang pakialam sa kung anong nangyayari sa labas. Maya-maya, pagkatapos nyang lawayan at linisin ang buddha, nagpagala-gala ito sa apat na sulok ng kwarto. Naupo, gumulong, tumalon talon, habang bumubulong sa sarili nya. 

Lalaki

Panginoon ako po'y nagugutom na. (Kinakausap niya ang imahe ng buddha ngunit hindi ito gumagalaw at tila nanonood lang sa kaniya.) Ako po'y pagbigyan na kayo'y magpaulan ng grasya sa loob ng kwarto na ito. 

 Tumingala ang matanda ngunit walang nangyayari. Nakahawak sya sa tyan at parang namamatay na sa gutom. Maririnig ang mahihinang ungol nya sa tuwing susubukan nyang magsasalita. 

Lalaki
Panginoon! Ako'y patawarin sa aking pagsasala. Ako'y wag hayaang magdusa. Panginoon maghatid ka ng iyong grasya. 

Desperado ang mukha ng lalaki. Nakatingala siya habang sinasabi ang kanyang mga dasalin.

Lalaki

Panginoon!

Ngunit walang nangyari. Humiga ang lalaki at nagpagulong gulong sa sakit ng tyan. Gutom na gutom na ito.

Natahimik ang lalaki sa isang sulok at tila natutulog na. Ngunit bigla itong lumapit sa Buddha habang nagbubulong ng mga dasalin. Desperado pa rin ang mukha nya. Hinawakhawakan, pinakintab, at hinalikan nito ang Budda. Inalayan ng kung ano-ano. Sinayawan habang halos matumbatumba na sa gutom. Natumba ang matandang lalaki.

Lalaki

Panginoon. Ako'y hatiran ng grasya! (nakatingala)

At may pumatak na ipot ng butiki sa mukha n'ya. 

Lalaki

Sa-salamat po mahabaging panginoon!

At tinignan ng mga gutom na mata  ng matanda ang ipot ng butiki sa kaniyang mukha. Dinukot niya ito at tinignan pa ng mas matagal. Kapirangot ito at malagkit. Mas okey na ito kaysa sa wala. Sinubo ng matanda ang ipot ng butiki. Sinipsip-sipsip ang marungis na daliri para maubos lahat ito. 

Kumalam ulit ang tiyan ng matanda. 

Lalaki

Panginoon. Ako po'y humihingi ulit ng grasya ninyo! 

At inulit uli ng matanda ang kanyang mga orasyon at pagsasayaw. Nagpagulong gulong sa sakit ng tiyan, nagpakabaliw. 

May narinig ang lalaki na kaluskos. Napahinto ito. Mapungay ang mga mata nito sa pagpilit na pagrinig sa tunog. Nahalata niya na ito'y isang daga kaya dahan-dahan niya itong hinanap. 

Hinanap ng matanda ang daga sa likod ng mesa ng buddha. Dahan-dahan ito para di magulat ang daga. Gutom na gutom na. At nung nakita nya ito'y agad niya tong dinakma. Nangaway ang daga at umiyak ng malakas. Diniinan pa lalo ng matanda ang kapit sa daga. Pinagsisipa, at pinagbabalibag ito sa sahig hanggang sa malamog na ang laman loob nito. At nang mapansin niyang hindi na gumagalaw ang daga, kinuha nya ito at lumuhod sa harap ng buddha. 

Lalaki

Maraming salamat po. 

 Kinain ng matanda ang daga gamit ang dalawa niyang kamay. Sirit ang dugo at ang berdeng asido nito. Dahan dahan niyang nginuya ang daga sa bibig dahil sa katigasan nito. Rinig na rinig ang pagtunog ng mga buto nito at ang paggalaw ng mga laman sa bibig niya. Natapos kumain ang lalaki. 

Umaga na. Nagutom ulit ang matanda. Gaya ng dati, ginawa niya ang kaniyang mga orasyon. Sumasayaw s'ya. Tumatawa. Humihiyaw ng malakas. Nagpapatalun-talon. Napatigil siya ng may marinig na kabog mula sa labas ng kwarto. Nanigas ang mga katawan niya. Nagpagalaw galaw ang mga mata n'ya. Kabog.Napansin n'ya na galing ito sa labas ng pinto niya. Kabog ulit. Nagulat ang matanda. Mas malakas at malapit ang kabog. Mas natakot ang matanda. 

Alam ng matanda na nasa harap na ito ng pinto. Kitang kita ang mga anino ng mga paa nito sa liwanag na nanggagaling sa labas ng pinto. Dahan-dahan bumukas ang pinto. Unti-unti pumasok ang liwanag sa silid. Unti-unti nasinagan ng liwanag ang mga mukha ng matanda habang ito'y tulala. Mayamaya't may isang hugis ng tao ang makikita. 

Tao

Hoy! Kanina pa kita tinatawag ah. May lakad pa tayo. 

Siya pala ay isang matandang babae na nasa edad 40-50.

Ale

Hala sya't maligo ka na. Ilang araw ka nang nagkukulong dito sa kwarto. 

At nakatitig pa rin ang lalaki sa babae. Tumayo ito at lumapit sa kanya ng hindi man lang kumukurap ang mga mata. Naglakad palayo sa buddha ang lalaki. Lumapit siya sa babae na siya namang lumakad palabas. Lumabas na rin ang matanda at isinara ang pinto. Tanging ang blankong kwarto at ang buddha lang ang makikita.

   

Mabilisang kwento.

Sandali ko lang ito naisip.

Late na ako nakauwi ng bahay kasi may school project pa kaming ginawa. Nakakapagod talaga at di pa ako nakakakain. Magagalit kaya si nanay pagdating ko? Si nanay kasi nakakatakot magalit. Di ka nalang iimikan. 

Sarado ang gate. Patay. Siguro tinulugan na ako ni nanay. Buti nalang ay may dala akong susi. Minsan kasi umaalis si nanay sa bahay at ako lang ang magbubukas ng gate namin. 

Pagpasok ko ng gate, napansin kong bukas pa ang ilaw sa kusina. Nakalimutan siguro nyang patayin. 

Pumasok ako, nagbihis at agad agad pumunta sa hapag. "Nasaan kaya si nanay?" Tanong ko sa sarili ko. "Siguro nasa hapag." 

So bumaba ako. Nakita ko sa hapag ang sinigang at kanin sa gitna ng mesa. Nakalagay na rin sa mesa ang pinggan, kutsara, at tinidor na inihanda ni nanay para saakin. Umupo ako agad at naglagay ng sinigang at kanin saaking pinggan. Napansin kong may pagka lamig na ang sinigang na nasa mesa. 

"O nay nariyan po pala kayo. Pasensya na po at nalate ako. Project po kasi" 

 Hindi ako pinansin ni nanay.Galit siguro siya. Blanko ang mukha nya at walang expression.  

Naglakad lamang si nanay ng mabagal paakyat ng bahay. Rinig na rinig ang kalampag ng kanyang paa sa hagdan at sa second floor. Dapat siguro ay hindi na ako magpalate pa. 

Maya-maya ay nag-ring ang cellphone ko. May nagtext saakin: 

Inay(09234375324) 

"Huh?" Nagtaka ako. Binasa ko ang message: 

Nak nagiwn ako dian s bhay ng snigang at knin. Pmnta ksi ako dn sa burol ng kptbhay ntin sa funeral. Mymya p blik k. Nakalock pnto ntin. My susi k nmn.

Habang binabasa ko iyon, naririnig ko pa rin ang mga yabog ng paa sa itaas ng bahay namin.   

ps. Kaya mga bata, wag na wag kayong uuwi ng late sa bahay. Baka iba na makasama mo. 

Juan: Walang Patutunguhan part 2

Sa ilalim ng araw ng umaga, iyong mamamataan ang anino ni Juan sa kalsada sa kamaynilaan. Sa kaniyang paligid ay mga pinagtagpi-tagping bahay na gawa sa yero na animo'y nakalutang sa estero. Maya-maya, maglalabasan na ang mga batang yagit na hindi pinalad na makapasok sa eskuwelahan.

Hindi tumigil si Juan upang makiisyoso, patuloy pa rin ito sa paglakad, wala kasing pumansin sa kanya. Ngunit, napahinto siya sandali nang siya ay huthutan ng di makilalang bagay. Napatingin si Juan sa kaliwa't kanan sa intensyong makita kung sino ang tumawag sa kanya. Maya-maya ay nagkadikit ang mga kilay ni Juan dahil wala siyang nakitang tao sa paligid. Hinuthutan ulit siya. 

Juan: Sino po iyan? 

Boses: Hey! Lapit tito. 

Matining at maliit ang boses na narinig ni Juan. Sa tingin niya, nanggaling ang boses na ito sa madilim at makitid na pagitna ng dalawang bahay. Dahil doon, hindi nagatubili si Juan na lumapit at silipin kung sino ang may pakana ng pagtawag na ito. 

Boses: Psst. kusto mong makipakpalitan? 

Nakadikit na ang mukha ni Juan sa maliit na pagitna ng bahay ay hindi pa rin niya ito makita. Nagtataka si Juan kung sino ang magkakasya at mamamalagi sa lugar na ito.

Boses: elel ka ba? Pemasok ka sapi.

Pinagpilitan ni Juan ipasok ang kanyang katawan kasama ng kaniyang sako.

Unti unti nagliwanag ang paligid ni Juan. Halos isang dipa lang ang haba ng pagitan at isang katawan naman ang lapad nito. Magulo at mabaho ito at kung sa walang boses na tumatawag sa kanya ay naisipan niya nang tumayo at magpatuloy sa paglalakad. Ngunit hindi nilisan ng boses ang pandinig ni Juan.

Boses: Poy, interesante ako tyan sa pitpit mo. Ano pa yan?

Unti unti nalang na napagtanto ni Juan na hindi galing sa isang tao ang boses na kanyang naririnig. Isa itong Duwende na marahil ay matagal nang naninirahan sa sulok na ito.

Juan: Ay wala po akong nais ipagpalit dito saaking bitbit.
Duwende: Siguro ay, chrr, ehem, interesante ka saakin pinepenta.
Bigla biglang sasagot ang duwende na para bang sanay na sa gantong usapan.

Juan: Hehe wala po.
Duwende: Pata makinik ka mena sa akin. Samu't-sari ang penta ko tito. Ano pa gusto mo? Pampakanta? Pampapayat? Keng ti ka kentento, lapit ka saakin, matetelengen kita. Meron ako lahat nyang mga pampa na yan.

Juan: Pasensya na po pero okey na po ako.

Duwende: Sigero gusto mo ng pampalakas ng lakat no? Meron ako nyan, lakay mo lang sa tenga mo tewing pagkatapos mong kemain, lalakas lakat mo.

Juan: Kaya ko na po.

Duwende: Apay sigero nga ayaw mo ng mga pampa ko, meron tin akong mga serpis na pweteng ipikay. Kailangan me nang sasakyan? Meren ake ditong karpet. Kailengen mo ng pahinga? Meren akeng panik. Kailangan mo nang saya? Meron akong pok pok.

Kahit ane pinepenta ko.

Juan: Puro benta nalang po ba alam ninyo.

Duwende: Apa'y syempre ti lang yan. Pwete ka rin semali samin. Helog ka samin pera pagpalik tople tople na yan. Yayaman ka tito. Pwete helegan mantli. Pwete mo kenin pera mo kahit anong oras. Pasta di ka lang papalya helog.

Likas na makulit nga itong duwende na nakakausap ni Juan. Ito na kasi ang buhay niya. Ang magbenta ng mga bagay at serbisyo.

Juan: Pasensya na po pero di ko po kailangan nyan. Aalis na po ako.

Duwende: Apay juan, wag ka naman kanyan. Pakit ala ka pera no?

Juan: Sadyang di ko lang po ninanais iyang mga bagay na yan.

Duwende: Apay nakaala santo ka na no?

Juan: kahit ang mga santo ay may pansariling hangarin.

Duwende: Keng kanun ay pakit mo ayaw pilhin itong mga pakay na penta ko?

Juan: Hindi ko lang po nakikita ang mga halaga ng mga bagay na iyan at iyang ginagawa ninyo. Hindi ko po maintindihan kung bakit ninyo sinayang ang inyong buhay kakabenta ng mga bagay na wala namang importansya sa buhay ng isang tao.
Hindi naman sa naninisi ako pero, hindi niyo ba naiisip na kayo ang nagiging sanhi kung bakit masyadong pinahahalagahan ng mga tao ang mga materyal na bagay at nakakalimutan na nila ang bagay na mas mahalaga pa.

Duwende: Hinti ko naman kasalanan ang lahat. Piktima lang tin ako ng sistema ng munto. Pakit, ano ba itong sinasapi mong importante sa munto?

Juan: Ang mga mahahalaga? Karunungan, Kagandahan, Kalayaan at pagmamahal.

Pag mamahal. Tumatak ang mga salitang ito sa duwende. Kaakibat kasi ng salitang pagmamahal ang pamilya, na siyang hindi matandaan ng duwende kung kailan niya huling nakasama ang tinuring na pamilya.

Duwende: Juan, wala akong makakawa. Piktima lang tin ako. Tingnan mo, buti ay kahit kaano, napuhay ako. Yumaman ako. Lumi-

Juan: Kahit kailan di ka lumigaya. At kahit kailan wala kang pinaligaya. Nakalimutan na nga ng mga tao ang dapat nilang pahalagahan. Nakakatawang isipin na iisa lang ang takbo ng buhay ng isang tao.
Trabaho, Kita, Gastos, Trabaho, Kita, Gastos.
Paulit-ulit nalang. Ikaw ba, nakita mo na ba ang paglubog ng araw sa baywalk sa roxas boulevard? Nakita mo na ba ang magarang estatwa ni Rizal sa Luneta? Katawa-tawang isipin dahil kahit kailan, di ka umaalis sa makitid na lugar na ito.


Hindi na nakaimik ang duwende

Juan: Kaibigan, hatid ko'y hindi kaguluhan sa isip. Nais ko lang maghatid ng kaliwanagan. Ako'y lilisan na't malayo pa ang aking lalakarin.


At hayun ay naglakad na nga si Juan sa kalye ng maynila.

   








 

Mga Katanungan

Magusapang banal nga tayo. 

Gusto ko ng debate, ngayon din, tungkol sa Iyo,

Dahil kukwestyunin ko, lahat ng nasabi Mo. 

Galit, inggit? wala niyan ako

Masagot mo lang ako, yan ang nais ko. 

Siguro nga ako'y tao lamang 

Mababang uri at isang hunghang

Ngunit bilang tao kailangan ko ng kasagutan

Dahil di ako matatahimik kung walang kaliwanagan.

Wag na nating patagalin pa aking minamahal 

Kailangan ko bang maging kristyano para makapiling ka? 

Kailangan ko bang magramadan para maramdaman ka?

Kailangan ko ba mabinyag para matanggap ka? 

Sa dami nila di ko alam ang aking susundin. 

Si Kristo ba, ay baka naman ang mga santo! 

Nako, mayroon pa 'tong si Alah din

Hindi ko na alam o mahal na Diyos ko. 

At dahil nasabi mo rin

"Ang bawa't kumikilala sa akin sa harap ng mga tao, ay kikilalanin naman"

O diyos makapangyarihan, kung di ka kilalanin ay magawa

Ano ang iyong ipapatong na parusa?

Ako ba'y iyong ipapadala sa nagiinit na impyero upang magdusa?

Hindi masama ang aking intensyon
Hindi ko gusto ang manakit ng tao
At kung paniniwala lamang ang basihan,
Ako ba'y nararapat sa impyerno?

Bukod pa doon, nais ko rin itanong
Pagdurusa ng tao, ano ba ang dahilan?
Hindi ba't lahat kami'y iyong mga gawa?
Bakit di mo kami mapaganda?

Ang pintor kapag nagkamali, siya nitong iwawasto
Ang iskulptor pag nagkamali, siya nitong itutuwid
O diyos ko hindi ba't nagkamali ka saamin?
Dahil kami'y makasalanan, mapang-api at ganid.

Bakit kailangang gutumin ang isang sanggol na bata?
Kung pwede mo naman ito bigyan ng isang ina?
Bakit pa kailangang magdusa ang mahirap
Kung pwede mo sila bigyan ng tirahan?
Di kita sinisisi sa aming pagdurusa
Di rin ako bulag na kami rin ang may sala
Pero kung ikaw nga ay makapangyarihan sadya
Bakit di mo nalang kami isalba?
Bakit mo pa kami kailangang subukan?
Kung isang pitik mo lang ay ang bulag ay makakakita
Bakit di ka pumalakpak nang kami'y luminis at lumigaya?
Bakit di mo ulit gawing alak ang aming maruming tubig?
Bakit di mo ulit kami pakainin ng iyong tinapay?
Asan ang iyong pagibig?
Asan ang iyong agapay?
Kung kayang kaya mo itong ibigay,
Bakit may tao parin na nagdudusa;
Bakit may batang nagdurusa kahit walang muwang

Marahil ay sasabihin nila
Nangyayari ang lahat dahil may intensyon ka
Ano nga ba ang iyong intensyon?
Paano ako makakasigurado na kaaya-aya ang iyong gusto?

Diyos ko ako'y litong lito.
Nais ko ang mga kasagutan mo.

..

Kagabi lang ay nanood ako ng isang pelikula. Love story eh, so inspired to doon. 

Ako'y lumigaya noong ikaw ay nakasama. 

Isang damdaming bato, ang iyong natunaw 

Ako'y sumailalaim sa iyong mahiwagang wika.

Pero bakit dini puso ngayon ay nalulusaw. 

Gagawin ang lahat ng iyong sinabi kahit ako'y mapahamak. 

Kahit katawan ay upos na ako'y maglalakad 

Kahit na puso kong mahina ay masasadlak 

Basta para sa'yo, ako'y magpapakaladkad

Ngunit ako'y isang tao lamang gaya ng iba

Puso ko mang tumitibok minsan tumitigil na

Maski patawad kong totoo ay lumalabo na

Pagod na pagod na ako, pero gustong gusto ko pa.

Sabi ng iba, di marahil ako'y 'sang baliw 

Na kahit ilang beses saktan di nagmamaliw

Siguro nga ako'y isang hunghang na walang pinakatandaan

Nasira na't nasaktan, pilit pang lumalaban.

Kaya't saaking pagtatapos nais kong ipaalam 

Na dalawa lang maaring mangyari sa'ting dalawa 

Maaring ako'y mabuhay kapiling ka't maligaya

O maaring ako'y magdusa sa kulungan ng lumbay.    

 

  

Juan: Walang Patutunguhan part 1

Kwento ito tungkol kay Juan na naglalakad, bumubuhat, gumagapang, at tumatakbo sa kalye ng pilipinas, wari ba'y naghahanap ng patutunguhan. Sa bawat hakbang na kaniyang ginagawa, katumbas nito ang walang katapusang pagdurusa sa paghila at pagbuhat ng pasakit ng bayan. Sa bawat kalyeng kaniyang tinutumbas, bagong karanasan ng pagdurusa at lumbay ang kaniyang natututunan. Ito na siguro ang nakatakda kay Juan.

Ala sais ng umaga at iyong mararamdaman ang malamig na simoy ng hangin sa ilalim ng malamlam na langit. Kakaunti palang ang mga sasakayan sa kalye ng pilipinas at maluwag na maluwag pa ang mga kalsada nito. Maya-maya ay maririnig mo ang mga pagbukas ng gate at ang mga kahig ng mga nanay sa walis ting-ting. Di kalaunan ay lalabas ang mga tricycle sa paradahan at makikinig sa umagang balita sa radyo. Mamataan din si Juan na nagbubuhat ng isang sako.
   
Naglalakad si Juan dala-dala ang kaniyang sako na dugyot na dugyot na; buhat-buhat kada hakbang. Walang nakakaalam o gustong umalam kung ano ang laman nito, maliban nalang kung ikaw ay nanakawan at tanging si Juan lang ang iyong nakita. Itong sako na'to ang buhat-buhat ni Juan saan man siya magpunta.
Sanay na sanay na nga itong si Juan sa pagbuhat ng sako niya. Marahil noong bata pa lamang siya, nakakabit na ang sakong ito sa kanyang likod. Walang nakakaalam kung saan niya nakuha ang sako, o kung bakit niya kailangang buhatin ito.

Ang alam lang ng lahat ay ito'y mabigat, at marahil mas mabigat pa sa patpating katawan ni Juan. Mas mabigat pa nga siguro ito sa pinagsama-samang sako ng bigas sa palengke o sa barbel ni Captain Barbel. Nakamamatay pa ito kaysa sa kanser. Sa lalong pagbuhat nito, unti-unti nitong lalamunin ang lakas at prinsipyo sa buhay ng sinuman na bubuhat nito; sisira ng kaluluwa at susunog ng matataas na pangarap. Iyan ang sumpa ni Juan.

Hindi kagaya ng iba, si Juan ay walang tapat na kailangang walisin o radyo na pakikinggan. Ang tanging pagmamayari lang niya, ay ang sako na kaniyang matagal nang buhat-buhat. Dahil dito, madalas na pagala-gala si Juan sa pasikut-sikot ng kalye ng pilipinas. Kahapon ay nasa Taguig sya, bukas ay nasa Quezon na. Pilit niyang hinahanap ang tuwid na daan, ngunit kahit anong kalye ang kaniyang tumbasin, wala pa ring pinatutunguhan si Juan.      

.

When air feels thorns while breathing

When mind goes stormed while thinking

When self gets loned while walking

I thought to myself: didn't I deserve some happiness?

This heart in thorns is condemned

O Life, I don't comprehend

With this sorrow you have sent

Why don't I deserve happiness?

In which part of me you don't accept?

And why every part of me you reject?

O tell me! Am I inept?

Or I ain't your dream perfect?

Tell this to your mighty Gods high above

"I don't bow to you, but don't I deserve love?
Isn't the greatest thing you will learn in life,
Is to love, and be loved in return?
O tell me, don't I deserve happiness?
O tell me, am I not your son too?"
But if all it takes is a bow to your king
Then this heart will forever sting
In the prison of loneliness and sorrow
Hoping that sun will shine by tomorrow.

Pagkakataong Makapagsalita

Pulpol!

Kahapon lang ay nalaman kong in demand na talaga ang media sa school. Last year di naman ganito. Kadalasan, makikita mo ang STRIPES na nagkukulong sa kweba nila. Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano yung nagagawa nila. Marahil ay di lang ako Updated o walang naguupdate. Pero di ako nagsayang ng oras na magtype para alipustahin ang kataastaasang STRIPES. Nandito ako upang kwentuhan kayo tungkol sa mga nangyayare at bakit napakaimportante nito saakin.

Hindi ko alam kung nagkataon lang pero bakit kung kailan naging seryoso ako sa film, bigla bigla nalang nagsulputan ang mga activities at projects na alam kong makakatulong saakin.
Unang una na diyan ang Film Festival. Ito and unang festival na nasalihan ko. Hindi talaga ako nakasali dahil hindi ako nakicompete. Ginawang exhibition film yung saakin. Kahit na wala akong awards na nakuha, isa pa rin itong napakalaking pagbabago ng aking buhay. Sabi nila, kapag ikaw daw ay binigyan ng manunod, sila daw ay naniniwala sa ikukwento mo. Nasasaiyo nalang iyon kung gagawin mong karapatdapat ang kanilang mapapanood. Binigyan ako ng Film Festival ng manunuod, dapat ko itong pahalagahan. Sa ngayon kasi, pahirapan makakuha ng manunuod kapag ikaw ay nagsisimula palang. Sa pamamagitan ng Festival, nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataong ipakita ang aking gawa.
Lubos akong natuwa sa mga reaksyon ng tao. Sa katunayan, habang pinapalabas ang aking pelikula, hindi ako tumitingin dito. Sa mga manunuod ako nakatingin. Makita ang mukha nilang natatakot ay isang malaking bagay na para saakin. Ito and award ko. Alam kong nabigyan ko sila ng karapatdapat na materyal.

Hindi ko rin inaasahan ang mga sunod-sunod na projects. Akala ko pagkatapos ng Film Festival, balik normal na akong estudyante; 'yong mga panahon na puro assignments at exams yung lagi kong iniisip. Nagbago na pala ang lahat. Hindi na pala ako estudyante lamang. Filmmaker na pala ako.

Nagsulputan ang mga projects. Gagawa daw kami ng video sa National Anthem, Documentary for teachers, at mga samu't saring event na kailangang icover. Para sa iba, marahil ito ay isang malaking responsibilidad na kailangang punan at problemahin, pero para saakin, ito'y panibagong pagkakataon. Pagkakataong makapagsalita, at hinding-hindi ko ito sasayangin.
Kakaiba ang pakiramdam pagnabibigyan ka ng pagkakataong magsalita. Oo, nararamdaman mo ang sense of responsibility, pero higit pa doon, gustong gusto mong magpasalamat sa kanila dahil sa dami ng tao sa mundo, bakit ikaw pa. Ito ang isa sa mga inspirasyon kong matuto. Ayaw kong masayang ang tiwala nila kaya hinihikayat ko ang sarili kong galingan at matuto pa ng linggwaheng pelikula.  
Dahil doon, ako'y nagpapasalamat sa mga taong nagbigay sa akin ng pagkakataong makapagsalita. Salamat din sa mga taong nakikinig sa aking kinukwento.

Pero pulpol pa rin kayo.



           

Mga Kapulpol!

Hoy. 

Ngayon at pinili mong basahin ang blog ko, dapat kitang tawaging "Pulpol". 

Nasaktan ka ng unti? Dapat lang. Pulpol ka kasi talaga. Pulpol ka sa blog na 'to dahil di mo ako alam, di mo alam itsura ko, o maaring di mo ako talagang kilala. Pulpol ka kasi wala kang alam sa mga iniisip ko, pulpol ka kasi di mo alam ang mga intensyon ko. 

Dahil ayaw ko sa mga pulpol kagaya mo, maguupdate ako araw araw. Kukwentuhan kita ng aking buhay at mga karanasan. Pagtatawanan mo ang aking kabaliwan, hahanga ka saaking kagagawaan. Pero kasama na rin doon ay ating pagtatawan ang mga taong mas pulpol pa kaysa sayo. 

Pero kung ayaw mo nang sumali, libre kang umalis. Di ako ang mawawalan. Pinili mong maging pulpol. 

Kaya ngayon, hanggang di kita nagagawang di-pulpol, pulpol pa rin ang tawag ko sayo. 

Mga Kapulpol! 

   

1

Hi. As you see, I'm starting a new blog. I changed my title, and changed some of my designs.

Now if you will just get tired of reading about film and photography, better unfollow and click that "x" button to the top most right of this window. I don't need you here.

2nd and 3rd Day

Katamad naman kasing magblog eh, kaso walang magawa.

Anyway, balik tayo sa kinukwento ko.

Nagturo si Sir Nap ng lighting noong unang linggo. Alam ko sa sarili ko na kailangan kong makinig nang husto dahil ito ang pinunta ko sa workshop na ito. (English na nga lang..) The information that I absorbed is totally alien to me. There are terms that I don't really know, but a basic cinematographer should know. He taught about lighting equipment, characteristics of lights, bla bla of lights , rule of this, yada yada..

As he taught us lighting, I thought to myself:

"And how the hell would I do that if the only manageable light source that I have is a freaking small lamp?"

"Woah, that cost 16,000? You gotta be kidding me. "

"Nah nah, I'm out of here."

I realized that I was totally limited. I felt like a monkey standing on a stick(which symbolizes my thin resources) over a pond(the film industry) . I can identify the light source or how a scene is lit, but I can't do my own lighting. Life is totally unfair.

Later on he taught us DIYs. My morale was like: Boiiiinnngggg ^. DIY! Something I can do with my own pocket and resources. He taught us ways to make use of cheap materials as effective tools for cinematography. Which led me to make a shoulder rig last tuesday.

Kung naalala niyo pa, aking nabanggit sa nakarang blog entry ang pangalang Bench. Paguwi ko, nakisabay ako sa kanya... eh niyaya nya ako eh. Sa alabang daw ang uwi niya. Nakasabay rin namin si Joe. Bumaba rin agad si Joe dahil sa malapit lang siya nakatira. Si bench naman ay pumik-up ng girlfriend at mga kaibigan niya. Eh puro sosyal pala ang mga tao doon. Akala mo CR lang sa kanila yung Japan eh. But anyway, bumaba ako sa sucat at sumakay ng jeep. Pahirapan pa nga kasi ang daming sasakyan at may ginagawa pang tulay. Buti nalang ay nakasakay ako at nakauwi ng nakakabit pa ang ulo sa leeg.

Sa pangalawang sabado, ninais ko na mapalapit pa sa mga tao. Kinuha ko ang mga number nila, nakipagkwentuhan ako, nakipagtawanan, etc. Gusto ko kasi ng contacts/ connection kapag sumabak na ako sa industriya. Tingin ko mas mahalaga pa yung number nila kaysa sa autograph ng pinakamagaling na basketbolista sa mundo. At dahil wala akong cellphone, gusto kong magkaroon. Balak kong bumili ng tig-500 sa cp sa metropolis, isang sim card ,at mga cards na pangload.
Sa araw na iyon, nagshoot kami ng aming short film. WALA KAMING KAPLANOPLANO noong simula. Usapan nga namin ay 9 pumunta ngunit dumating na ako ng mga 10 ng umaga. Pagdating ko ay may plano na sila at may isang lalaking bago ang mukha saakin. Di ko alam kung miyembro siya ng workshop o ano. Siya ay matanda na may sira ang kaliwang mata, tato ng kamera sa kaliwang braso, at kamerang parang lumang digicam na nakasukbit sa kanyang leeg(Tawagin nalang muna natin siyang Person A). Sinubukan kong sumunod sa kanilang usapan pero isang oras na ang nakakaraan pero di ko pa rin alam ang istorya namin. Nalaman ko nalang ito habang kami ay nagshoshoot.

Una naming ginawa ay ang pagseset-up ng mga equipment. Mayroon silang dalang 3 camera (5d mark III, ed mark II, at 7d). Mayroon ding manfrotto tripod, manfrotto monopod, at isang glidecam. Iba't ibang lens naman ang mayroon kami. Mayroon kaming telephoto, prime, at syempre wide (O minsan ay tinatawag nilang pancake). Lahat yan ay personal na pagmamayari ng mga kaklase ko. Habang ako naman ay nagdala ng isang bolpen, bag na kasya pa ang isang pakwan, at kwadernong 2 taon ko nang ginagamit (di pa counted dun yun baon kong pagkain).
Pagkatapos namin magset ng equipment, nagusap-usap sila kung saan nila gusto magshoot. Sinuggest ni person A na doon kami magshoot sa maraming puno. Sabi naman nung director namin na si Patrick ay doon sa sidewalk. Bilang siya ang director, siya ang nasunod. Pero bago pa man kami lumakad, pumili na sila ng talent. Napili namin yung maputi na nagngangalang Paolo. Magaling siyang makihalubilo sa tao sa taas ng kaniyang confidence.
Then nagshoot na kami sa labas. Buti ay hindi pa gaanong mainit noon dahil 10 palang iyun ng umaga. Puro lakad ang ginawa ni Paolo. Siguro ay nakasampung beses siyang paulit-ulit sa paglalakad. Sila Glenn at Bong ang nagshoshoot ng camera, si patrick ang nagdidirect, at kami naman ni Aleks ang tagahawak ng mga lens, lens cap, filters, at minsan ay monopod. Ganito ang karaniwang usapan:

Glenn: So ano na direk?
Patrick: Don muna siya lalakad papunta dito.
Glenn: Okay sige sige.... chong (bong) tara!
Bong: Doon ako sa gilid gamiting ko tripod ko.
glenn: Sige sige. Eto mukhang maganda dito oh.
Patrick: Hindi dito ka nalang.
Person A: Tingnan nyo dito. Dito maganda kasi may foreground, background, at bla bla bla.....
Glenn: Ay sige po
Bong: Oy dun na ako.
Joel: umiinit na sa labas. Sana naman matapos agad.
Aleks: Damn ang ganda ng shotss..... hmmmmm yeah.
Joel: *whistles*
Patrick; Action!
Joel: *shut ups*

Then nagshoot na kami ng nagshoot hanggang 5 ng hapon. Siguro ay magaalas tres ng hapon ko lang nalaman ang totoong pangalan ni Person A. Narinig kong naguusap si Karen at si Person A.
Karen: Sir Luis (Ayun luis ang firstname!), dapat gumawa ka pa ng facebook account na "Luis Dilim".
Person A (ay Luis pala): Oo nga eh.
Naisip ko na maaring Luis Liwanag ang kaniyang pangalan. Nakumpirma ko nalang na Luis Liwanag ang kaniyang pangalan noong hiningi ko ang fullname at number nya. Sinearch ko name niya sa Facebook at sa google at doon ko nalang nalaman na kaibigan siya ni Ms. Sky(at isa siyang veteranong photojournalist na may napakalaking reputasyon). Nalaman ko rin na siya ay may glaucoma(which explains why he have those damages in his eye) ngunit patuloy pa rin ang kaniyang pagiging photojournalist.
Natapos rin namin sa wakas. Napasabay ako kay Sir Bong sa Taksi at ako'y kanyang binaba sa Ayala (Makati) dahil sa avida siya nakatira.

Haba di ba? Di mo na dapat binasa.

Workshop sa UP (1st day)

So ayun na nga ako, nakasakay sa bus nang alas otso ng umaga habang dikit dikit ang mga balikat namin sa likod. Dapat sana eh natutulog pa ako nang ganong oras. Habang nasa bus ako, napapatanaw ako sa bintana at tila nagmumuni-muni tungkol sa pilipinas. Tamang tama na katatapos ko lang basahin ang "Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino" ni Bob Ong. Naiisip ko na tamang tama ang kaniyang pinagsasabi tungkol sa pilipinas. Tama siya na tayo'y bansang third world lamang.

Pagkadating ko sa central (malapit sa iglesia) naglakad ako ng halos kalahating kilometro (jk) papuntang UPFI building. May nakita akong puti na nagtanong saakin kung saan ang UPFI, sabi ko sundan niya ako at magkaklase tayo (feeling ko alam ko yung daan).
At nung nakita ko na yung building, sabi ko eto na yun. Sa labas ng buiding ay mayroong mga estudyanteng anak mayaman na nagshoshoot ng kanilang thesis.
Eto ang mga reaksyon ko sa bungad ng building:
"Puta Rode NTG 3 gamit nila tapos may Zoom H4n na recorder."
"Hanep may pa prosthetics pa si ate. katakot ha"
"Busy busyhan nmn kayo dyan sa mga Mac book pro nyo"
"Oy gusto nyo ng taga-gaffer?"
"Yaman naman neto, kung may ganyan lang ako eh"

Eto naman ang reaksyon ko pagpasok sa B4 room (cinematography workshop):
"Woah. Mano po!"
Tapos naglakad akong 3 hakbang at eto na reaksyon ko:
"Puta canon c100"
"Oy o canon 500d"
"OMG! Blackmagic Cinema Camera"
Sa mga oras na to, mukha akong tambay na nakatitig sa mga hot chix. Kung may dala lang talaga akong smartphone(na wala nmn talaga ako), siguro ay napagselfie mo na ako.
Anyway, balik tayo sa mga reaksyon ko:
"Si sir Nap(direk Nap tawag nila pero di ako sanay doon) nakakatakot ah. Kung sa LoL masasabihan ako neto ng: Noob."
"Naka macbook si sir.. astig"
"Aba may assistant pa"
"Aba teka ang layo ko ah, abante ako ng onti"
"Dami namang techs dito. May TV, Projector, LED Panels, redheads, CAMERAs,etc. "
"Lamiggg"

At yun na nga, pagkatapos nila mag set-up, nagpakilala na kami. Bwisit lang talaga kasi ako yung unang nagsalita. Hindi na siguro importante yung sinabi ko sa harap dahil tingin ko, sa sobrang kaba ko eh hindi man lang ako nakapagconstruct ng sentence. Noong tapos na akong magpakilala, nakinig na ako doon sa matatanda. Hanep eh may karanasan na pala sila film industry. May isa na gumagawa ng AVP kapag kasalan. Yung isa naman ay producer/director ng mga music videos(Siya ay si Bench. Siya ay magiging importante na karakter sa 2nd day journey pauwi ko). Yung malaki ang katawan ay dating camera man sa GMA. Meron naman na matandang kalbo na mas matanda pa ata sa tatay ko. Sa harap ko ay babae na nasa highschool palang (siguro 4th year). Sa gilid ko ay dating PA na nagaasikaso ng mga materials na hinihingi ng DP sa set. Pero nanlaki talaga ang mata ko noong may nagpakilala na director siya ng mga documentaries. Nakalimutan ko na kung ano. At syempre ang naging bestfriend ko doon ay yung late na dumating na mukhang si Tado. Mahaba buhok nya sa mukha at kung makikita mo siya sa kalsada, aakalain mong holdaper siya. Siya si Glenn na mahilig magtago ng bagay bagay. Hindi siya nagpakilala sa klase dahil late na siya, pero noong nagkasabay kami pauwi, nakwento niya saakin kung anong background niya. Siya daw ay cinematographer ng mga documentaries like realtime, i-witness, etc. Napa-wow naman ako sa kaniya. Kung titignan mo siya, talagang hindi mo aakalain na siya ay propesyonal na cinematographer. Siya ang naging unang kaibigan ko.    

Then nagturo na si sir ng cinematography at sinumulan niya sa lente na sinundan ng focal length, aperture, ISO, framing, at color balance. Masaya ako dahil naging madali lang saakin na makisabay dahil medyo alam ko na yung iba sa kaniyang tinuturo.

Sa wakas, paguwi ko ay pagod na pagod ako. Feeling ko gusto ko nang humiga na sa kama diretso. Pero dahil may Homework pa kami, nagmunimuni muna ako sandali bago natulog.

Film Project: Rewriting

This morning I have to rewrite my shot list and my story board for scenes 3,4,8. Instead of having 12 or more shots in total, I tried my best to shrink it to 7. Now it seems possible since we need around 5-10 min per each and some of it doesn't really require that much of briefing. But again, I still find it impossible to shoot the scene within 50 min. It is quite impossible yet we need to accomplish it since the screening is on friday already. But if we are not able to finish the film, then we will be trying our best to go to grade 1 and 2's PE which is on thursday. It is kinda crazy because that is the day before the screening. I wish things will go well on tuesday. Wish us luck. 

Friday (no classes!)

Just after I open my eyes, I faced my laptop again to edit the film. I was really frustrated yesterday because the movie just sucks. The background music is trash and my composition is pretty messy so I have to fix it this morning. 

So I edited the sounds first like the narration and the sound from the external microphone so that things are clear. I edited them in adobe audition so I can maximize my editing powers. Then I went to google and typed in free stock background music. I search free music that is free for commercial use because I am hoping that we could join this movie to a film festival somewhere. Again, JUST HOPING. The possibility of we joining the film and winning and be noticed is very low. But again, just maybe, at least there is a chance. If there will be a open film festival for all sorts of people, then we will join this one.

But anyway, I want to stop imagining things that would hardly happen. 

Then after that I had my breakfast and continued working in my laptop to finish science project. I spent a lot of time in the portfolio since I am slow in composing reflections and each of the design there is made from scratch. That means I didn't use any stock images in google. 

Then I watched our previous projects in manda (the two shorts) and criticized all the aspects of it. At some part of the short I was really laughing because of the faults of the production. At some point, I am also laughing at myself because my camera handling and angles is very bad. However, in the end, I end up crying not because of the short, but because of the bloopers. I miss grade 7 so bad. I wish I could live those old times again. 

nooooo

Right now I am face palming myself. I am crossing my fingers as I watch the draft of the movie. HECK! There's a lot of mistakes. Problems such as expositions, continuity and camera shots made it kinda hard for the audience to understand. Now I am dying and I wanna kill myself. 

I don't really think I can even put my name on the credits. I hate it. I really do. I hate it when time restrict you from doing something. Now it is done, I have no choice but to maximize my editing skills so I could, at least, try to make it better. I will learn from my mistakes and I will try to improve in my next videos. I am planning to make a short during the summer break so I could practice myself. But anyway, I am currently face palming myself for what a crappy composition I directed. I wish this would turn out great in the end. 

I think looking for a nice background music will help the film better. 

Teacher / Who am I? (#notdecidedwiththetitle)

Yow

Now I am currently engaged to directing a film for JSCB teacher appreciation day. The first day of the shooting was really tough and I thought of giving up already.

I was really stressed and I don't even know why. I think I am overreacting because we are not in schedule already. Our progress was slow and each scene would take us about 30 min. to get. I am actually asking myself if that is really appropriate. I think I have to improve my managing of the set better.
Before the actual shooting, I usually picture the scene in my head so I could get the ideal look in the film. However, due to some difficulties and we have limited time, sometimes I have to cut-off that idea and find an easier one. Sometimes I have to delete some parts so we could easily go through each scenes.
There are times also when kids are so rowdy that when you ask them to stay there they will usually run away or not listen to you at all. Sometimes, even the older actors don't listen as well. There are times also where the audio really sucks that it seems we didn't use any boom mic at all. There are also times where the camera handling is like Isabel Gapas' project for noli.
Then at some point I thought of giving up and canceling this short.

But then I can still feel the urge to continue. I asked myself, why do you still do it? Despite of the challenges, time constraint, inexperience actors and crew, and other problems the production can't control, we still continued to shoot. Why? Because it is art. Because it is our privilege to deliver message and change the world. It is our passion to work in collaboration and achieve the best as we could. Why? Because we love it.

Just a random thought

Just a while ago I am watching some cinemalaya short films and I wonder, why do most of them have zombies? Ehehhhh???? I find it kinda corny.

I have a goal in life to send an entry there and win awards. It's one of the steps to be successful in film making.
So here's how my story goes:

It is a love story and a sci fi.

There is this geek guy who fell inlove with someone else who tend to fall for him too. The girl have to leave for some apparent reasons. The guy will give her a necklace that lights up whenever the two necklace go near each other at around 15 m. He told it was a gift so they could remember always and when the time that they will meet again, then it would light up, in that way they could meet again and catch up with each other. They never told their feelings to each other.
After that, years will past and they will pass by one another and only the guy will notice that his is lighting up. He would try to find her but he always fail. The time continue to run but he never had a chance to see her. He frequently hear his necklace but he just can't find her. Till they got old, they never found each other. When they died their grave seems to be close wih each other since their families are close. Their necklace keeps making sounds until it finally run out of power.



And the end.

this morning..

Today was so epic.

In the morning I have to drop by a flower shop to buy flowers. I waited for around 10 min. there and tada! I have the flowers. I went to grade 8 room first then I went back to get the flowers. I didn't know that Myra and Athena is running after me. When I was in the escalator going up, Myra and Athena showed up and was like: move back, down now!!!
And I was panicking so bad I have to run downstairs. There's a student behind me so I have to push her to the side so I can pass by. It felt like I'm in a treadmill. I had a good workout just before the class starts.

Then I grabbed my guitar. We went to the creativity room and we practiced Just the way you are. That was really epic. We nailed the song. They were really good singers. I am just in the side rocking the hell out of my guitar. I was really tired after that.

Anyway I want to play my guitar again.. hohoho let's sing more songs

Hi

Hi

HOHO

We are previously tasked to make a short film about a life of a teacher. I am thinking of this one as a first step of mine when it comes to film making. This time, I'll be using the knowledge that I accumulated from youtube, and my past experiences.

However, right now I am tempted to get a shotgun mic. I am planning to get the cheapest mic I saw and that is Panasonic EM-2800 which they also used at Beauty and the Beast. I saw it on olx and it was so cheap - very cheap compared to other boom mics. However, the only problem I have is that, I might not achieve my expectations. At least, I want a boom mic that works great 1.5 meters away from the actor so we can boom it above. I am afraid that I might just be wasting money with that thing instead of just buying a more professional one on the near future.

But anyway, speaking of film-making, right now I am trying to improve on screen writing or how I can make something thrilling... yada yada yada.... What is amazing in filmmaking is that you have to master a lot of things such as:
- Techicals (Sounds, video, post production stuff, lights)
- ScreenWriting
- Acting
- etc.

And so I am only trying to improve things that is at my reach right now.

BB

HOHO


what a very long day for all beauty and the beast cast and crews.

This was supposed to be a blog entry about my experience in the backstage(how boring, dull, sad), but nevermind, I changed my position.

So I was at the back beside Alvin who plays with the lights and signals Josh. I was keeping the timing, raising my hand when we have to change the background, whispering words to Alvin like what is the next scene, or if the lights off is close, and finally keeping my nose stuck to the script to know the sequence.

But anyway, it is still a long way there before all of that happened.

I was the first one to arrived at school. (Yay) Then I was followed by Ben and his bro. For the mean time, we have to wait outside standing because the main entrance is closed. Then we were followed by Celeen. This time I am tired of waiting so I went to the k-3 area through the back door and I asked the guard whom I don't know if we are allowed to get inside; he said yes.

Then I called the rest. Just seconds after that Alvin arrived. Then he also joined us.

It was so dark and silent upstairs. We went to 3rd floor and stayed there for a few minutes. Then Alvin and I decided to check upstairs if it is open. When we where there, we noticed that the door was lock. Then I saw the window and luckily it was not locked. Then we called everybody to get inside,

Alvin and I parted ways first as I set the projector and he set the lights. I finished setting the projector first since it is just simple.

Then everybody started coming in through the windows, and finally the director was here. He told us to manage our synchronization (lights, backgrounds, and the sounds). While doing it, I realized that it might be a total failure since we won't be hearing Joel say "lights off". So I borrowed the presenter/pointer to sir Richmond so I can work with Alvin at the back.

Then we had a technical make-up rehearsal of everything. I saw a lot of defects with my ppt and timing so I tried my best to add some last minute changes after the rehearsal. I was seriously stressed at the backstage since I am not sure if I corrected everything already. Then I told myself: "just trust what you have there ---- ohh &^&Y I got 5 minutes before the audience arrive."

So basically I have no choice but to settle with the changes that I have.

Then I was so nervous at the back for I might fail.

I was really happy when we finished the play, there were no mistakes in my ppt, and my timing is miraculously correct. HOHO The play was seriously shocking for me. I thought we will screw up a lot but .. wow... the show continued to roll.

As I press the pointer, there are times where I accidentally click it at a wrong time. But, luckily, the receiver didn't picked up the signal.



Anyway.. It was so coool.

Sorry for the long post.

Film

Hello

Today is one of the most important day for me. Not because of beauty and the beast, but because I had a talk with Ms. Sara about film making and being a director.

Things didn't go well at first. When I first came to school, there's nothing happening. Everyone is waiting, waiting, waiting. I actually thought they are going to have the lights and the stage already, but there wasn't. As usual, within 60 seconds or so, I got bored.

Then  I saw Ms. Sara doing costumes so I followed her. I asked a lot of questions and I hope it didn't bothered her.

She gave me a view of how the industry works. Where should I join, should I go to film school or not, is it fun/worth it, how does it work, etc. etc. It kinda made me scared of it because it seems very impossible for me. First of all I don't have that much of money to support crew, actors, equipment, sets, etc. , and second I might not have the skills. I mean what if I am enjoying what I am doing but I am not really good at it. I see that there will be a big hindrance if I will push with this dream.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA

right now, I don't really know what to do. AHAHA. I am not sure if I will be successful or if I can even produce an award winning film-- coz that is what it all takes to keep in track. But I am sure that I love this career.



Anyway bye.  

name tag

Hello 

I need your help

which one is better: 

Escape

Hello yesterday I learned the most important thing that will be useful when I grow up.

And that is to.....



Escape


escape from conversation, meetings, and rehearsals. AHAHAH


Yesterday I did all of them within just 3 hours or so.

First escape is English class. Though it is not really my intentions to escape, it seems like it is my fate to escape. :P I don't know with Joel but he always call me even though he just need the actors. So when I went up to the MPH, Sir Kenneth was like: Ohh what are you doing here Joel?
Then Joel said on the other hand that we need to practice the sequence of the backdrops so I just stayed there.

Second escape is the JSCB meeting. Because of the beauty and the beast, I wasn't able to go to the meeting. I just went there late.

Third escape is the Beauty and the Beast. This is probably the best escape because I intentionally escaped here. I have to look for perfect timing, be aware of what is happening, and make sure I will fade away easily to the eyes of the people there. When I felt like I am not that needed anymore, I took my opportunity to escape.

Then I had a conversation that I think I don't need to mention.

Then I went to JSCB meeting and I think I attended 1/3 of the whole meeting.

FAILED FRIDAY

Today I experienced failure. :(

This morning, I planned to do the SS project. My target is to do the head which is one of the most complicated part of the tank.

The most complicated will be the feet. The one with the wheels and all that because honestly, I still don't have the picture in my mind on how to do it.

Anyway, back to my failure.

The first head that I did didn't really look good. The measurements is so crazy and it's hard to keep in track since it's an octagon with angles.

It was definitely challenging.

I know there are proper formulas to get the proper measurements but too bad, I don't have any idea of them.

But then I finished it with my instinct although there are open spaces. To solve that problem, we might be doing paper mache. It doesn't matter if the texture will be so dirty because we want that in our tank. It's like.. uhmm nvm just ask me ;)


Anyway, I saw this amazing video on youtube about cannons. I tried making the gun powder and the powder looks really incredible. I have a gun powder that burns really well. It was so amazing. I love the sound of it.

Then I made my own version of a cannon but it didn't go well. I think the problem is with my cannon.


So it's a total failure.
sad.

la la la

I'm bored.

Got nothing to do.

I'm now running out of idea on what to write here.

Maybe I'll just explain what's happening here.

So I'm just sitting here in front of my laptop and currently typing this entry. The temperature is high in this place.
My brother and I is the only person in the 2nd level. They are all downstairs doing their own businesses. The TV is on but no one seems to watch it. I turned it off a while ago but my brother turned it on again.

Outside I can see the sky blue sky which is directly in front of me right now. I can hear birds chirping and I can see some of them passing by.

I can see that my bedroom door is open. I want to stay there and turn on my AC but I don't know why what is stopping me from standing up.

Right beside me is an indoor plant. When I have my blow darts and gun I would usually shoot the leaves of this plant. My darts would penetrate the leaves. It somehow gives me pleasure when it penetrates and when I hear the sound created by the air pressure inside my blow gun.
Once, I was sitting in this exact spot at around 4 in the afternoon, I took my camera to capture something really great. The sun is perfectly lighting the plant that it caused me to put down what I am reviewing and grab my camera. I told myself that this might not happen again. It's like walking outside the streets then suddenly there's a solar eclipse. There were soft light and hard light. Some of the light looks really bouncy in the plant. The plant was like being engulf by the light casted by the sun. It lasted for 15 minutes only.


Anyway. that's it. bye

-

I stared at every corner of my room,
and to the details of my blinds.
I hear birds chirping and the sun was so bright.
I knew I was late.
But I can't.
I can't stand up.
I can't raise my body nor my arms or legs.
It's like the gravity is much stronger than the usual.
I feel numb.
But my eyes,
my eyes.
my eyes are the only thing that function.
My eyes are weary  and teary.
My body is tired.
It can't get up.
Like my will, courage and hope,
it can't get up.
But my eyes,
my eyes can still see.
It can see the pain outside the walls of my room.
My eyes tells me to stand up
Even though it sheds tears;
Even though it is helpless.
Is this how powerful you are?
Or is this how dumb you are?

Yow!

Yow!

Tomorrow is the day. By tomorrow, there will be 5 days of vacation left. Grr. Time is so fast.

And tomorrow is April!

APRIL FIRST!

WAHAHA

yikes.

Make it tomorrow already so I can leave today.

Coz today is..

Not so good.

But TOMORROW! Who knows.

Sleep is my gate

Bye.

2nd Day

I wasn't able to post this yesterday.

Yesterday I finished the backdrops already. I had them in powerpoint and they are ready for using. Though I still need to ask them if it matches the scene.

I edited 4 backdrops yesterday and finished at around 11. They were the last scenes. It was really hard because the characters was there so I have to paint them over.

One technique that I used is to get around 3 photos wherein the characters are in the different positions with the same background.  In that way I can apply the process that we use in cloning. I masked the layers and so I got a clean background.

For some, it seems really impossible. I manually painted over them to complete the background. I got a good result.

The hardest was the village. It was so crowded. However, I still managed to remove all of the characters.

Then I took a lunch break and continued working at around 1:00 PM. I finished until 2:30.

Today, probably I'll be reading, playing guitar and do/plan projects. But I am still bored. I have no one to talk to. :(

1st day

I've been working for about 4 hours straight. I finished around 7 backgrounds already and I'm halfway there on finishing them. After that, I will edit the footage that Joel provided me. Then, I will arrange them in powerpoint. It would take about 3 days to finish everything.

It's not easy. I have to use many kinds of software so I could get the best result. I used about 4 software depending on what I want to do.

I am amazed of how coordinated the Adobe software. Once you learn one software, it's easy to learn the other. That's why After Effects is getting handy to me now. The software are also friendly to each other. You can import PSD file to After Effects and make it as a composition which is very helpful for me right now.

Even though it's not easy and technical, I am still enjoying what I am doing.

I think loving what you are doing is a better encouragement than rewards; rewards such as money, fame, reputation, and grades.

Anyway, I have to take a break.

When Boredom Strikes

 I have nothing to do today. Yay!

On saturday I'm going to school again.

I'll be part of the Beauty and the Beast by making the background. I really like my job there.
I was tasked to make backgrounds and be the one to operate at the back of the stage. I was tasked to make the pictures better, and to make a slideshow.

1. Background

My main task here is to get a suitable background per each scene. Though Joel Choi already gave me pictures, I still have to edit some of them. I was even thinking to make them as looping videos. To add effects, I would try my best to add animations such as fogs, birds, wind, shines, etc. I'll be using at least three softwares and that is photoshop, after effects and premiere pro. I still have troubles in after effects and so I have to conquer that this week.

2. Powerpoint
Then, I would collect all files and arrange them in order in a powerpoint presentation..

I am estimating that I would finish everything within 3-5 days. I think it would be really tiring but good thing I have some upgrades with equipment ;)

YIKES I'm so freaking excited.

For today I'm planning to clean my things and do a lot of blog entry so I can finish this blog.

RUNWAY

Yikes!

Yesterday was a lot of fun. It was a 6-8 pm event and everybody is waiting for it. I went back home first to have some rest and to bring all the stuff I brought at school ,then I went back to school. It was so quiet everywhere. Then, I walked to go to the grade 7's room where Keith, EJ, Myra, Athena and Jane is hangin' out. They were so quiet. Then Athena brought up a conversation about D****. We also had a conversation about Zayn quitting 1D.
Then we went upstairs and the crowd is starting growing. There were lights but I was expecting that there will be a spotlight.
I will be one of the photographers in that event. I was looking for a good spot to take pictures before the event start. I was having trouble because they were so fast and the area is dark. But during the event, I learned the best setting to shoot pictures in that event.

I shoot pictures at manual mode. I always do that to practice. I increased the ISO to 3200 and the aperture at 5.2 f. My shutter speed is around 1/60 to 1/100 so I can capture them while moving. I shot in auto focus mode so I can shoot easily.
Most of my shots are low angle shots. That is because I don't want to block the people watching at the back.

Hello, just random thought.

"YOHOOOO GRADE 8 Will get that award!!! SANA KAMII!!!"


I was screaming that in front while I forgot tot take pictures already.
It's only a fraction of a second and they announced the winners already. I prefer if they kill us with thrill first before saying who won.

"And the winner is..... GRADE 8!"
then I was screaming words I don't know. I turned back and gave my classmates air high five. Yes AIR HIGH FIVE. It looks really weird when I did that. I look even weirder when I am the only one who's screaming his lungs out in front of the area. BUT WHO CARES?! WE WON!

It's worth it.

Tomorrow will be the booth day. If there's no customer, fine. We'll just eat the food and chill there while with a videoke in front of us. Yikes.

I'm excited for the break. I have planned the things I should do next week. YiKES! I'm gonna enjoy working. Good thing that beauty and the beast is added to my schedule. On saturday I'm joining their rehearsal. I'll be making the background. But of course, I'll be putting animations to it.

4th quarter is the BEST!
but also the worst. :(

Bright Idea Presentation

Bright Idea Presentation

We spent days making the concept, prototype, models, etc but we only presented it for 5 min. How can the judges see the in-depth details of our bright idea if the presentation is just for 5 min.? Anyway, it was a nice experience though.

So before we go to the stage, I think we were all nervous. My legs are trembling and it's so annoying for me. Before they even call our name, we already carry the prototype and the floor plans with us. Then we started reporting.

I can notice that we are so nervous especially Myra who can't stand still. There's only one microphone so we have to pass it to each other. When it was my turn to speak, I felt like the microphone is going to fall anytime. I said my part with a little shaky tone.

Then after a minute or so, I got used with it. Myra on the other hand is still shaking.

It was so epic.

Sir Jude is so friendly while he watch us, Sir Joseph is scary as dark, and Ms. Pam looks really frank. We weren't expecting the judges.

The most epic part was the last question thrown to us. What's the fountain for?
Good thing we had a talk about it during PE time in the playground.
Charles answered the question.
Everyone didn't expect that answer and so everybody was laughing with amusement. I would give a slow clap for that. Meanwhile, I can't contain my laugh because that answer might be too embarrassing. I tried not to face at the audience.

Then finally it ended. I wish we were able to give our best.

My english HW

This is probably my most favorite homework. I am very interested to talk about this things. 

1. I believe on something that is supported by evidence is much better than those without. 
I believe on things that I can observe. I believe on things that are supported by logic. Something might be true when it is proven with studies, reasons and logic. 
It is something I got when I grow up. I love to question things in the world that helped me develop skepticism. I consider myself lucky enough to be able to question things rather than those people who believe on things they are told to believe.

2. I believe that the meaning of life is to find the meaning of life. 
Right now I challenge myself to find the meaning of life before I die. Sadly, I still don’t know. Right now, I believe that maybe, the meaning of life is how you find the meaning of life. It’s how you live your years. Finding the meaning of life is the most exciting part of life. I would want to exit life as if I am a champion of it. I want to know the meaning of life, or put a meaning to it. 
- I got this from my own philosophy as I question the world. 
3. I believe that maybe I am alone and the universe and the people around don’t exist and they are just an illusion created by my mind or given by something. Or even the universe I live in doesn’t exist at all. 
One of the creepiest philosophy and thinking in my life. What if I’m alone, and all the stories about people, God, etc. is just my illusion. 
- I got this the way I got the other two at the top. However there are some people in the past who suggested this. 
4. Acceptance is very important. 
It maybe one of the hardest thing to do but it solves everything. Accept what you can do, and what you can’t. Accept what you have and what you don’t have and you will surely have a peaceful life. 
Moreover, when you are criticized for your study and someone defied it, learn to accept it. Learn to accept that you could be wrong. In this way you are prepared for comments and criticism. The reason why I don't buy into religion and politics is that they don't have this attitude. I never heard a religion saying that, "Oh, your God is real and better than us." Stuff like that. Religion greatly stick with their values. 
- Books ; and other media. Then I molded them. 
5. Don’t work hard because they said so. Work hard because you feel like it. 
A lot of people work hard for grades but I see that it is useless. For me grades won’t give me that satisfaction in life; though I am not saying that it must be neglected. The only way that working hard would give me true happiness is those things that I just felt like doing. If you don’t enjoy what you do, you’re going to have a lot of trouble.
- Experience
6. Doubt everything; even God. 
In order to seek truth, you must doubt everything in the world. I doubt the world’s existence, ideas or other people, and even God. Since I believe on things that is supported by evidence, I kept on doubting everything. 
The reason why I doubt God is not because I hate God for he caused negative things to me, and not because I worship the devil or I am anti-christ, but because his existence is very questionable. As long as I can ask a question to something, then I cannot assure that something is true. Maybe God is only story created by people to govern themselves well or to restore order among its people.